Check out The Weeknd. Their song “High For This” is on the promo for the new season of Entourage. I’ve been listening to this a lot lately, and wanted to share. I really like this sound of R&B. You can Download their mixtape for free!
-Justin
So my Tumblr has today been mostly arguing with idiots, and the feminism tag on twitter has been filled with a lot of garbage recently. I apologize, and I thought I’d offer something a little more positive. Something refreshing, just, something that honestly surprised me today. It was nice to…
This is your last Dorkfest XVIII-related post of the day. The name “Dorkfest” was bestowed upon this Grierson-Leitch tradition by A.J. Daulerio, who, back when we published our lists on The Black Table, greatly enjoyed giving the pale Mattoon boys appropriate wedgies for obsessive, nerdy pretension. After reading the 2003 version, in which he pored through 5,738 words only to learn that Grierson had chosen a so-obscure-it-was-almost-invisible film called Stone Reader as the best film of the year, he couldn’t take it anymore. So Daulerio wrote up his own list and emailed it to us, of entirely imaginary films, satirizing the snooty-cinema-assbag parlance that invaded our prose (and every critic’s, really). This morning, to our delight, we woke up to a new version, after a four-year hiatus. So, without any further buildup:
A.J. DAULERIO’S TOP FIVE FILMS OF 2009
5. “Streaky.” I was unfamiliar with the amazing story of America’s first window washer, Harry Pinkerspry, and his quest to give Chicago’s tallest buildings “a sparkling mirror for the sun to smile into each day,” but I left the theater with a greater appreciation of his unlikely craft. Yes, like most artists driven by some unrelenting force from deep within, Pinkerspry’s obsession is what killed him, but it’s still an uplifting tale. The raw footage of him leaping off his 10-story high scaffold after he spent four hours unsuccessfully trying to clean a penny-sized splotch of pigeon feces off the east side of the Chicago Board of Trade was unsettling to watch, but first-time director Linus Bloomfield does a masterful job of making his gruesome end both cathartic and heroic. Plus, Bloomfield’s decision to use The Replacements “Hootenanny” throughout the film as if they were the house band to Harry’s quirky life was truly inspired.
4. “Scratch That Washboard Like It Was Your Bad Girl’s Fanny.” Just like Charlie “Three Tooth” Watson, the enigmatic South Dakota jug band impresario who’s considered by many music historians as the “godfather” of men who utilized crude clothes-washing tools as musical instruments, I, too, was “haunted by the backyard boogie birthed from the devil’s womb.” This is the only film on my list this year I’ve seen twice, if only for the soundtrack (tragically overlooked for a Grammy nod this year) which is downright infectious. If you watch this movie and don’t find yourself humming the melody to “Swampy Stomp Shoe Shine Lady” for the next two days, you should probably head to the ER right away because you don’t have a pulse, my friend. Bliggity-blop-pow-wow-sha-boom-bah! Trust me.
3. “Ape-fisted Men With Bulging Red Wallets.” I know, I know — all of Monty Jungers films take place either on Wall Street or a cranberry bog. But what happens when Jungers is struck by divine inspiration and splices those settings together? Fucking cinematic wizardry, that’s what happens. Packed with absolute tour-de-force performances by newcomer Tyler Saint Himmons and the ageless Percy Ivens as dastardly banker Strato Hemple, we’re hurled into the not-so-distant future of sharply dressed men fighting in knee-deep brackish water for the last batch of cranberries on earth. One does it for power; the other for the boundless love of a woman stricken with a deadly urinary tract infection. Not to spoil the ending for anyone who hasn’t seen it, but make sure your socks are stapled to your ankles before the climactic jiu-jitsu fight on top of Pike’s Peak, because they may very well get knocked the hell off.
2. “Don’t Call Me Beatrice The Whorebag Anymore.” If there’s one thing you can say about Trudy Gainesworth is that she’s not afraid to get her hands dirty when she acts. Or, in this case, her crotch. Gainesworth delivers a lovely portrayal of the sassy prostitute, Beatrice, which will hopefully rejuvenate her stalled career. (Remember: “Blue Mountain Hideaway” came out nearly 12 years ago. Feel old?) Director Vito Dang’s hyper-aggressive directorial style is perfect for this film, as it enhances Gainesworth’s nuance and shows off his skillful technique when it comes to filming live birds. How did he make those parakeets so convincing on roller skates?
1. “Too Much Pride, Two Little Shoes.” Like most filmgoers, I was skeptical that the screenwriting duo of Fin Maquinis and Blanche Higby could make Hector Valvedez’s two-line poem, “Zapatinos,” into a full-length feature film worthy of any acclaim. But they did, and I found myself riveted throughout the entire 294 minutes. From the film’s opening, haunting close-ups of little Maria’s diminutive, three-inch feet, to her epic slog through the tranquil Sierra Morena mountainside for those “perfect slippers with the mouse faces,” director Harry Palermo (“Tiempo, Tiempo, Tiempo, Hatchet”) treats Valvedez’s metaphor for post-industrial Spain with the tenderness it’s long deserved. Palermo’s attention to detail was startling, especially when he spent two years constructing a miniature camera that could be hidden inside Maria’s toe ring to give the audience the disorienting experience of what it’s like to be the tiniest toe on the tiniest foot in Spain circa 1932: breathtaking, but grim.
I think I’m okay to talk about it now. It’s such a weird topic in today’s society and will no doubt come off as a bit of a shock to most people, but that’s cuz not too many are educated on it. I think I wanna help change that. I’m hesitant… Not to help try and change the way people see this, but…
So my Tumblr has today been mostly arguing with idiots, and the feminism tag on twitter has been filled with a lot of garbage recently. I apologize, and I thought I’d offer something a little more positive. Something refreshing, just, something that honestly surprised me today. It was nice to…
its a bit lame having to write up one of these but i seriously get asked the same questions by a lot of people so its easier if you just read it here or i link you here. i guess ill start with the basics and add to it if i need to. hope this helps answer some of your questions :)
Are you…
I CAN’T HANDWRITE THIS NOTE BECAUSE MY DOMINANT HAND WAS DAMAGED IN THE MILITARY. I WAS MEDICALLY RETIRED AS A WOUNDED WARRIOR.
AFTER ONLY 4 YEARS IN THIS ONLY PROVIDES A SMALL INCOME THAT IS BARELY ENOUGH TO COVER MY MORTGAGE AND EAT CHEAP PACKAGES OF NOODLES.
MY MORTGAGE HAS NEVER BEEN PAID LATE BECAUSE I AM RESPONSIBLE FOR IT. EVEN THOUGH THE VALUE IS UNDERWATER DUE TO ALL THE OTHER FORECLOSURES AROUND ME. I ALSO HAD TO USE GRANTS TO COVER MY MORTAGE A FEW TIMES WHILE I WAS WAITING A YEAR FOR MY V.A. DISABILITY RATING. I CANNOT USE THOSE GRANTS AGAIN. THE WOUNDED WARRIOR PROGRAM PROMISED TO FORM POSITION FOR ME TO WORK ON NEARBY BASE BUT THAT PROGRAM FAILED TO DELIVER.
I WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO AFFORD TO BUY A CAR.
I WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO SAVE ANY MONEY.
I WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO AFFORD TO MOVE FROM THIS HOME.
I WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO TAKE A VACATION.
I WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO SEND MY WIFE TO SCHOOL.
I WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO AFFORD A LOAN. (OR GET ONE SINCE MY CREDIT GOT SHOT AFTER BEING REMOVED FROM MILITARY SERVICE)
I WON’T BE ABLE TO REPLACE THE ROOF ON MY HOUSE IN 5 YEARS.
I WON’T BE ABLE TO REPLACE MY 50 YEAR OLD SEPTIC TANK SO WHEN IT CRUMBLES AND FAILS MY HOME WILL BE CONDEMNED ON ACCOUNT OF SEWAGE IN THE BACK YARD.
I WON’T BE ABLE TO AFFORD MY MEDICATIONS AS I GET OLDER.
I WON’T BE ABLE TO EXPERIENCE THE AMERICAN DREAM OF PROSPERITY AND HAPPINESS.
BUT I GUESS I SHOULD LOOK AT THE POSITIVE SIDE: I WON’T BE ABLE TO TELL MY KIDS THAT THEY ARE SCREWED…. BECAUSE I DON’T HAVE ANY.
I AM THE 99 PERCENT. WELCOME TO THE CORPORATOCRACY.
Hello everyone! We’re going to be doing a watch-a-long of The X Files, otherwise known as the greatest show of all time. If you’ve always wanted to watch The X Files but have found its nine seasons daunting, now is the time. Alternatively, if you’ve seen the show before but can’t bear the thought of living your life without Special Agents Mulder and Scully, join us and revel in the show’s loveliness all over again!
Here’s how this will work:
- On every Sunday, Tuesday, and Thursday, at 5pm EST, I will post a download and streaming link for that day’s episode (This schedule may be adjusted after we’ve started depending on the feedback). You may also use the comments section of this post to discuss the episode!
- After you watch the episode, send me your favorite quotes in the ask box and start posting pic spams, gifs, and any other art or fic from the episode! Tag all your posts with “xfileswatchalong”.
- At 5pm EST the day after a link has been posted, I will post a “Report Card” for that episode with fun stats like how many times phone conversations started with “It’s me”, what happened when Mulder abandoned Scully yet again, and what the Cigarette Smoking Man was called. I’ll also include a list of the submitted quotes.
- I’ll then start reblogging posts from that episode, and will continue doing so until a week after the episode had been posted. In other words, if an episode link was posted on Tuesday, I’ll reblog posts from that episode until the following Tuesday. I’ll also post any music connected to that episode.Basically, this will be a completely wonderful time when we’ll all get to express our love for The X Files!
So, if you’re interested follow xfileswatchalong. We’ll start on Tuesday, May 31st!
Name One Hello World
Location Syracuse, NYDescribed as “PostSecret for the ears” by Paste Magazine, One Hello World is a collection of voicemails set to their own soundtrack created by an anonymous composer. Callers from across the world participate by dialing One Hello World’s voicemail and sharing their story. The result is a musical compilation giving listeners a cross-section of the human experience. With the help of a successful Kickstarter project, a 30-track debut album, The Listener is set to be released in late March.
Also check out…
Crap = Good
In today’s over-designed, visual culture, a counter-flow is appearing: Crap is good.Arrgh!
The official “Most Hated Movie Scenes Ever” blog.Rookie
Rookie is a website for teenage girls—and women in their 30s who like Angela Chase and nail art. This is their Tumblr blog.
me and my friend http://mattihxc.tumblr.com/ at a photoshoot.
photos taken by M. Flóvent.
http://www.facebook.com/pages/MFl%C3%B3vent-Lj%C3%B3smyndun/161181783954761
